Most of us are more codependent than we realize. Be it on our spouses, significant others, parents, and other loved ones. We also tend to shape ourselves into what society will deem acceptable. As such, we lose sight of who we are.
Our emotions are pretty fragile, as well. When we meet an obstacle or experience failure, our instinct is to find something to blame outside of ourselves. It could be an overbearing boss, a meagre salary, or the world around us in general.
All of us harbour a bit of these toxic traits, whether we admit it or not. But change isn’t impossible. No matter how old you are, it’s never too late to develop your character without relying on others.
That said, here are the healthiest ways to grow stronger independently:
1. Be Aware of How You Respond to Situations
When you’re stressed, it isn’t always because of a situation, but rather your response to it. But it isn’t automatically your fault, either, if you experience something upsetting.
Hence, be aware of your natural response to difficult situations. Your awareness will help you control your emotions better. Instead of having an outburst, for example, you’d learn to assess the scenario and base your next actions on what you’ve gathered.
2. Work on Your Confidence
Some of us are only confident when someone hypes us up. But the more you encourage this habit on yourself, the bigger your dependence grows. Therefore, learn to love your own company and to trust your abilities more. Your self-confidence will shoot up when you become independent of others’ praise. Moreover, you’ll become less stressed when making plans because you no longer have to depend too much on the input of others.
3. Get to Know Yourself
One of the first steps to strengthening your character is getting to know yourself. Spend some time alone, with only self-improvement books to guide you. Try writing on a journal as well to keep a record of your daily reflections and musings.
When you get to know yourself, you’ll begin to understand why you behave a certain way. You will learn to work out your patterns, identify what needs to be changed, and make the necessary improvements.
Furthermore, reflecting on your actions will help you trust your instincts, which will stop you from relying on others before making an action. Ultimately, you’ll be bold enough to do something without asking for permission or seeking approval.
4. Unplug from Time to Time
We’re too engrossed on social media that we’ve forgotten to devote time solely for ourselves. Thus, go offline from time to time and just self-reflect. As stated above, it will keep us from co-dependency. Also, unplugging will let our minds wander without judgment, allowing us to realize our values and long-term life goals.
5. Question Your Beliefs and Assumptions
Often, our opinions are merely knee-jerk responses rather than something we’ve genuinely extracted from our beliefs. That could come from a judgmental society that forces us to adhere to specific standards. Hence, make time to challenge your beliefs and assumptions, and realize in turn what you value.
6. Learn to Support Yourself Emotionally
It’s normal to seek out the comfort and advice of our loved ones when we’re feeling down. But if we do this too much, we’ll never learn how to be emotionally independent. So learn how to give emotional support for yourself before turning to others. That will help you control your feelings better and make you understand that you are responsible for your happiness.
When you overcome your insecurities and dependency, you’ll enter relationships with a stronger character, making you even more admirable. You can beat any challenge without fear of others’ opinions holding you back; simply put, you’ll conquer the world.